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Deck the Halls: A Christmas Horror

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This short story is intended for mature audiences only. This story will be available again for free on December 2016. Santa Claus and his team of reindeer head home to the North Pole after an impromptu battle with his lifelong enemies, the Naughty, only to be welcomed by chaos and tragedy. Seeking revenge and salvation for a loved one, Santa must journey to a distant land This short story is intended for mature audiences only. This story will be available again for free on December 2016. Santa Claus and his team of reindeer head home to the North Pole after an impromptu battle with his lifelong enemies, the Naughty, only to be welcomed by chaos and tragedy. Seeking revenge and salvation for a loved one, Santa must journey to a distant land to partner with the most unlikely ally imaginable. This time, Santa's taking the fight to the Naughty, and he will deck the Halls with their blood.


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This short story is intended for mature audiences only. This story will be available again for free on December 2016. Santa Claus and his team of reindeer head home to the North Pole after an impromptu battle with his lifelong enemies, the Naughty, only to be welcomed by chaos and tragedy. Seeking revenge and salvation for a loved one, Santa must journey to a distant land This short story is intended for mature audiences only. This story will be available again for free on December 2016. Santa Claus and his team of reindeer head home to the North Pole after an impromptu battle with his lifelong enemies, the Naughty, only to be welcomed by chaos and tragedy. Seeking revenge and salvation for a loved one, Santa must journey to a distant land to partner with the most unlikely ally imaginable. This time, Santa's taking the fight to the Naughty, and he will deck the Halls with their blood.

30 review for Deck the Halls: A Christmas Horror

  1. 5 out of 5

    Magdalena aka A Bookaholic Swede

    This short little horror story is perfect to read the day before Christmas. Santa is on his way home after his adventure against the Naughty (read the first short story The Naughty List). But something is wrong at home... Let me tell you, don't fuck with Santa, he will do whatever it takes to get back someone precious to him that the Naughty has kidnapped. Even seeking up and old enemy... The only thing that I found to be negative with the story was the cliffhanger ending. Other than that, it was This short little horror story is perfect to read the day before Christmas. Santa is on his way home after his adventure against the Naughty (read the first short story The Naughty List). But something is wrong at home... Let me tell you, don't fuck with Santa, he will do whatever it takes to get back someone precious to him that the Naughty has kidnapped. Even seeking up and old enemy... The only thing that I found to be negative with the story was the cliffhanger ending. Other than that, it was a well-written, but a bit sad (Why E, why? That poor reindeer) story. I'm looking forward to reading part 3!

  2. 4 out of 5

    Zoeytron

    Nothing is as it should be here. Rudolph is ailing and unable to work, ill-behaved toys are running amok in a hellish Toyland. You hear the sound of hooves in the distance . . . could be Santa's reindeer, and you smile with relief. Careful though, reindeer aren't the only things with hooves. Nutcrackers. Never liked 'em. Nothing in here that sways my thinking about that. There is something about those snapping jaws that is downright unforgiving. Crunch, crunch. And as one might expect, the Naught Nothing is as it should be here. Rudolph is ailing and unable to work, ill-behaved toys are running amok in a hellish Toyland. You hear the sound of hooves in the distance . . . could be Santa's reindeer, and you smile with relief. Careful though, reindeer aren't the only things with hooves. Nutcrackers. Never liked 'em. Nothing in here that sways my thinking about that. There is something about those snapping jaws that is downright unforgiving. Crunch, crunch. And as one might expect, the Naughties are not nice. Nope. Not a bit. And I, for one, think it is way naughty of Mr. Lorn to make us wait for the next installment in this series. Thanks for the Christmas treat!

  3. 5 out of 5

    Jess ❈Harbinger of Blood-Soaked Rainbows❈

    Another gruesome and hilarious Christmas horror tale from one of my favorite horror writers. This one picks up where The Naughty List left off. Santa and his reindeer come home to the North Pole to see that lots of shit has hit a very big fan. Santa knows he has to form a shaky alliance with his old foe, Mr. Anti-Santa himself in order to teach these stinkin little Naughty demons a lesson. I loved the references to Christmas mythos that Lorn inserted into his prose and the action scenes were also Another gruesome and hilarious Christmas horror tale from one of my favorite horror writers. This one picks up where The Naughty List left off. Santa and his reindeer come home to the North Pole to see that lots of shit has hit a very big fan. Santa knows he has to form a shaky alliance with his old foe, Mr. Anti-Santa himself in order to teach these stinkin little Naughty demons a lesson. I loved the references to Christmas mythos that Lorn inserted into his prose and the action scenes were also deliciously gory and hysterical enough to have me laughing out loud in spots. A very satisfying short story. It is still available for FREE until Christmas for those with kindles, so hurry up and get it. Until next year Santa. Stand strong ol' buddy.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Cindy Newton

    Part II of this saga manages to inject even more creepiness and gore into the Yuletide season. Santa forms an unholy alliance to track down the devilish Naughties, and things get out of hand quickly. There's plenty of blood and guts for everyone in this season of sharing, and Santa's ninja skills are once more on display. No spoilers, but I'm not sure I'll ever look at nutcrackers the same again. I'm glad I went to the Nutcracker ballet before I read this! I'm eager to move on to part III, which Part II of this saga manages to inject even more creepiness and gore into the Yuletide season. Santa forms an unholy alliance to track down the devilish Naughties, and things get out of hand quickly. There's plenty of blood and guts for everyone in this season of sharing, and Santa's ninja skills are once more on display. No spoilers, but I'm not sure I'll ever look at nutcrackers the same again. I'm glad I went to the Nutcracker ballet before I read this! I'm eager to move on to part III, which I just downloaded today--free (thanks, Edward!)--so I'm set. I think we should now have a moment of silence for (view spoiler)[Rudolph; may he rest in peace. :( (hide spoiler)]

  5. 5 out of 5

    Becky

    Disclosure (again): I am (still) friends on Goodreads with Ed Lorn, though he did not ask me to review any of his work, nor does that have any bearing on my opinion. I picked this up for free from Kindle when he offered it for the holidays this year, like everyone else did. Deck the halls with bits of Naughty... Fa la la la la... la la... la la... In case your memory is as bad as mine and you can't remember the review of War on Christmas #1 that I posted literally less than an hour ago, I will j Disclosure (again): I am (still) friends on Goodreads with Ed Lorn, though he did not ask me to review any of his work, nor does that have any bearing on my opinion. I picked this up for free from Kindle when he offered it for the holidays this year, like everyone else did. Deck the halls with bits of Naughty... Fa la la la la... la la... la la... In case your memory is as bad as mine and you can't remember the review of War on Christmas #1 that I posted literally less than an hour ago, I will just reiterate that in that review I said that I wanted a more fleshed out story. More story to the story, if you will. Well I got that here. It's a cliffhanger-ending of a story, which sucks, because I hate them with the fire of a bazillion suns... but it's cool, because the rest of this was some badass, lore-filled goodness. I liked this continuation, and the background we get to see of Santa, and what he values most and how far he'll go to get it back. He will make strange alliances, and return items of great power, and fuck some shit up. He don't care. He's Santa, bitch. He's got 364 days of unemployment and nothing to do with it but bring the fucking pain to those who've wronged him. I can't wait to see it. It's gonna be glorious. :D

  6. 5 out of 5

    Sandra

    Oh the horror. I wanted to hide behind a pillow, or rather close my eyes after that first chapter. But that doesn't work with a book, no? With the help of an old acquaintance, Santa sets off to make things right which went wrong previously. This part of the series has a darker undertone than the first, but Ol' Santa is still kicking ass. And all I want for Christmas is one of those magic Santa bags... Original 'review' And this one is free too this Christmas. For the first book, see The Naughty List. Oh the horror. I wanted to hide behind a pillow, or rather close my eyes after that first chapter. But that doesn't work with a book, no? With the help of an old acquaintance, Santa sets off to make things right which went wrong previously. This part of the series has a darker undertone than the first, but Ol' Santa is still kicking ass. And all I want for Christmas is one of those magic Santa bags... Original 'review' And this one is free too this Christmas. For the first book, see The Naughty List. ;) Thank you Edward Lorn!

  7. 4 out of 5

    Melki

    This would make the saddest Rankin/Bass production - EVER! Sniff, sniff. This would make the saddest Rankin/Bass production - EVER! Sniff, sniff.

  8. 5 out of 5

    Thomas Strömquist

    When the Naughty cowardly strikes against Santa's home and he returns to find loved ones fallen victims and taken hostage, he strikes back with no hesitation. After forming the most unlikely alliance, he goes hell bent for leather - straight into the lion's den... Twisted Santa mythology (including a reference to the Bastard!), over-the-top gore and unmistakable Lorn prose. The only thing not to like is that reading a Lorn short is like having just a very small piece or sip of pretty much anythin When the Naughty cowardly strikes against Santa's home and he returns to find loved ones fallen victims and taken hostage, he strikes back with no hesitation. After forming the most unlikely alliance, he goes hell bent for leather - straight into the lion's den... Twisted Santa mythology (including a reference to the Bastard!), over-the-top gore and unmistakable Lorn prose. The only thing not to like is that reading a Lorn short is like having just a very small piece or sip of pretty much anything on your Christmas table - it will leave you panting for more!

  9. 4 out of 5

    Jules

    Oh no... that beginning! Not that, PLEASE not that...*almost cries*. Yay, I had a My Pet Monster too. I loved him so much :-) Argh... the ending!!! ...Roll on next Christmas!

  10. 5 out of 5

    Paul Nelson

    Christmas horror joy with rainbow sprinkles, tequila frosting, marzipan glaze and a biscuit base. All topped off with a fountain of blood and a smattering of body parts, Enjoy.

  11. 5 out of 5

    Richard

    A great follow up and glad I can jump into the next one! Poor Rudolph.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Evans Light

    A much more substantial chunk of tale than part one (THE NAUGHTY LIST), DECK THE HALLS is a whole barrel full of fantastical metaphysical holiday fun and mayhem. Too bad I have to wait until next Christmas for part three.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Alex ☣ Deranged KittyCat ☣

    Part #1: The Naughty List In Deck the Halls, we find out that all that happened in The Naughty List had been a setup to destroy Santa's home and kidnap his wife, Mary. Now Santa teams up with Krampus in order to defeat the Naughties and retrieve Mary. Little does he know that what awaits them is far nastier than the little imps. And right when things get interesting we find out that... The War on Christmas continues Christmas 2016 with "Beyond the Gates of Toyland". I'm not that happy that I hav Part #1: The Naughty List In Deck the Halls, we find out that all that happened in The Naughty List had been a setup to destroy Santa's home and kidnap his wife, Mary. Now Santa teams up with Krampus in order to defeat the Naughties and retrieve Mary. Little does he know that what awaits them is far nastier than the little imps. And right when things get interesting we find out that... The War on Christmas continues Christmas 2016 with "Beyond the Gates of Toyland". I'm not that happy that I have to wait a year to see what happens next, but I'll have to deal with that. *sigh* P.S. You can get this short story for free on Amazon.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Kaisersoze

    One short story a year that takes many of the Santa Claus related myths and tips them on their pointy ears would normally sound like stocking-filler. But in the hands of the imaginative Edward Lorn, the concept becomes a true source of fun and mayhem - not least of all because Lorn does not ask a red cent to read these shorts. So in this expansion of The War on Christmas series begun with the highly entertaining The Naughty List, Santa goes on a mission to find the kidnapped Mrs Claus after suffe One short story a year that takes many of the Santa Claus related myths and tips them on their pointy ears would normally sound like stocking-filler. But in the hands of the imaginative Edward Lorn, the concept becomes a true source of fun and mayhem - not least of all because Lorn does not ask a red cent to read these shorts. So in this expansion of The War on Christmas series begun with the highly entertaining The Naughty List, Santa goes on a mission to find the kidnapped Mrs Claus after suffering the death of a close, err, friend. Along the way he joins forces with an unexpected ally, and chases the Naughties all the way back to their hidden world ... Of course, this one stops just when the going is getting great, but if the last part is as good as this one promises, then next Christmas ought to be a hoot. 4 Nut-Chomping-Crackers for Deck The Halls.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Ebenezer

    Edward Lorn epitomizes everything that is wrong with Christmas today! He's like a big, round beardless anti-Santa laughing derisively at hundreds of years of holiday tradition with his belly jiggling like a bowl full of jelly. His 'Christmas' horror shorts, which turn the holiday into a sick and twisted bloodbath, are a slap in the very face of this proud Christian nation and are an insult to all the lesser Christians across the globe. He gives these stories away as 'gifts,' he claims, as 'thank Edward Lorn epitomizes everything that is wrong with Christmas today! He's like a big, round beardless anti-Santa laughing derisively at hundreds of years of holiday tradition with his belly jiggling like a bowl full of jelly. His 'Christmas' horror shorts, which turn the holiday into a sick and twisted bloodbath, are a slap in the very face of this proud Christian nation and are an insult to all the lesser Christians across the globe. He gives these stories away as 'gifts,' he claims, as 'thank yous' to his many loyal fans who line his dark pockets with the wages of sin, but this is not the real reason why he has made these teeny literary abominations available for free. Oh, no! He's set the price to $0.00 on these terrible tales so that his Satanic messages can spread as fast as demonically possible. Edward Lorn is a high-ranking agent of The Adversary and he must be stopped!

  16. 4 out of 5

    Scot

    Another Christmas Gift Edward Lorn supplies holiday cheer again this year in the form of an epic tale of the challenges one man will face to reunite with his wife. This man isn't Bruce Willis, but Santa Claus. This year Edward released the second part of his tale as his free Christmas gift to fans, a story to be continued next holiday season. This tale of battle and bloodshed finds Santa returning home after his long day's work to find carnage and bloodshed at the North Pole. Mrs Claus is missing Another Christmas Gift Edward Lorn supplies holiday cheer again this year in the form of an epic tale of the challenges one man will face to reunite with his wife. This man isn't Bruce Willis, but Santa Claus. This year Edward released the second part of his tale as his free Christmas gift to fans, a story to be continued next holiday season. This tale of battle and bloodshed finds Santa returning home after his long day's work to find carnage and bloodshed at the North Pole. Mrs Claus is missing, and to save her from the Naughtys, Saint Nick will have to call on the help of Krampus. This short thoroughly entertained and Edward left things very open ended for the continuation of his tale. Pick it up while you can, and enjoy a brutal Christmas story unlike any you've ever read.

  17. 4 out of 5

    K. D.

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Actual rating 3.5 stars In Deck the Halls: A Christmas Horror, The Naughties have gotten their revenge in a different way. They’ve decapitated Rudolph, burned Santa’s home, and kidnapped his wife. Devastated, Santa enlists the help of Krampus and together they travel to Toyland to rescue Mrs. Claus. But before the fight even begins, the story ends. I'm not a fan of cliffhangers, but since the next part is coming out soon, I'm not going to be too bummed out about it. If you're looking for a quick, Actual rating 3.5 stars In Deck the Halls: A Christmas Horror, The Naughties have gotten their revenge in a different way. They’ve decapitated Rudolph, burned Santa’s home, and kidnapped his wife. Devastated, Santa enlists the help of Krampus and together they travel to Toyland to rescue Mrs. Claus. But before the fight even begins, the story ends. I'm not a fan of cliffhangers, but since the next part is coming out soon, I'm not going to be too bummed out about it. If you're looking for a quick, holiday horror read, then this little series is right for you.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Marjolein

    Read all my reviews on http://urlphantomhive.booklikes.com Last year, when reading The Naughty List I had no idea this was going to be a one-a-year Christmas series. What can I say, it's a very short Christmas story that's definitely not for little children, or people who want something sweet and cosy. The cruellest thing however is that we'll have to wait a full year to learn how the story continues... Read all my reviews on http://urlphantomhive.booklikes.com Last year, when reading The Naughty List I had no idea this was going to be a one-a-year Christmas series. What can I say, it's a very short Christmas story that's definitely not for little children, or people who want something sweet and cosy. The cruellest thing however is that we'll have to wait a full year to learn how the story continues...

  19. 5 out of 5

    Kate

    2nd part to the short story Christmas horror series. This sees Santa coming home to find his house and workshop in ruins, reindeer slaughtered and Mrs Claus missing. He decides to seek out help in the form of Krampus and together they devise to get revenge on the Naughties. Fun read that I enjoyed more than the first installment. The writing flowed better in this one and I now wish I had picked up the 3rd story whilst it was available.

  20. 4 out of 5

    Angel Gelique

    After battling the Naugties, Santa Claus returns home to find that one of his favorite reindeer friends has been slaughtered and his beloved wife has been abducted. Ho ho holy crap...Santa just doesn’t get a break. Review to come!

  21. 5 out of 5

    Reeda Booke

    A sinister little tale. I just saw the Krampus movie not too long ago, which was ok. This would have been a better movie I think :)

  22. 5 out of 5

    Cheryl

    Don't mess with Santa This was a fitting follow-up to part 1 THE NAUGHTY LIST, much more detailed and gruesome. Just what you want in a Christmas story, right? Santa makes it back to the North Pole after his encounter with the Naughties from story one...and finds carnage and chaos. He heads out, enlisting unlikely help along the way, to retrieve his most precious item. Good horrific fun. I just wouldn't recommend reading it to the kiddies. I'm looking forward to part three available in a few days.

  23. 5 out of 5

    Michael Hicks

    Christmas Casualties Following the events of The Naughty List, Santa returns to the North Pole and discovers his home in ruins and his wife missing. To find her, he'll need the help of an old rival. This short story gives us a bit more mythology, some fun magic, and loads of Christmas violence as Santa again squares off against The Naughties. It's a quick and enjoyable read, but the real disappointment lies in having to wait for Solstice 2016 to roll around for part three.

  24. 4 out of 5

    Christine

    Does anyone else think Lorn and Hines are drinking buddies? Santa returns home and then things get. . bloody. Love how Lorn uses Krampus here.

  25. 5 out of 5

    Randee

    All I can think to say is that some people really shouldn’t write.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Susan

    Deck the Halls by Edward Lorn Note: Even though this is Book 2 in the series, it stands quite fine on its own. In fact, I read this book first and then checked out Book 1, The Naughty List. Santa and his reindeer team head home on Christmas Eve for a quick regrouping, and perhaps a change of clothes, after their unexpected battle with the imp demons known as the Naughties in Book 1. After all, Santa has the elf magic to slow down the clock, so he has plenty of time to deliver toys around the worl Deck the Halls by Edward Lorn Note: Even though this is Book 2 in the series, it stands quite fine on its own. In fact, I read this book first and then checked out Book 1, The Naughty List. Santa and his reindeer team head home on Christmas Eve for a quick regrouping, and perhaps a change of clothes, after their unexpected battle with the imp demons known as the Naughties in Book 1. After all, Santa has the elf magic to slow down the clock, so he has plenty of time to deliver toys around the world. However, upon landing, they notice chaos and tragedy. Santa’s blood boils at what has been done and there will be blood to pay! Once again, this was an excellent holiday horror tale. I’m really enjoying this kicking butt and taking names Santa. Of course, the Naughties are playing for keeps also. The reindeer lose one of their own and it hits hard (sniffle). Yet this seems to stoke their fires for vengeance. A lone remaining Naughty, one left behind to deliver an ultimatum, is captured. I think Yak expected to die but Santa has other plans for him. I applaud the practical use of holiday garland as restraints! Santa needs answers and perhaps a temporary ally. So they travel to his birthplace in Turkey to find a deadly foe. Yak was none too pleased with this. I was glad to see Santa returning to his roots, they being more sinister than the typical jolly fat man we see decorating so many store windows and holiday paper. What follows is part adventure and part revenge action movie. It’s all deliciously twisted. Once again, Lorn brings that common sense brutality to the game, making the tale that much more enjoyable. The reindeer aren’t your timid lovey dovey dainties; no, they are beasts that mean to take out as many foes as possible. My one wee complaint is that there are only 3 clearly female characters, and two are merely mentioned and not seen. Some of the Naughties may be female, but that is never specified. So we have the reindeer Vixen (who gets a few goat like blats for lines) and perhaps Cupid is mentioned, along with Santa’s wife Mary being mentioned. I would have liked another clear female in the fray somewhere. However, this is such a small thing and didn’t deter my enjoyment of the tale. The adventure takes Santa and his companions to a place he doesn’t want to go. The Naughties are seeking power but get more than they can chew on. This puts Santa and his team in grave danger. Let’s just say that I won’t be looking at some classic toys the same ever again.  

  27. 5 out of 5

    Bill

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. The North Pole is going up in flames. Santa’s wife has been kidnapped and Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer has been decapitated (and de-nosed). Now, Santa must enlist the help of his archenemy Krampus to help him track down the Naughties responsible for these horrendous attacks. It’s about to get real messy up in here when Santa takes out his revenge rage on the little murdering mofo’s that are holding Mrs. Claus captive. And then…It’s over. Dammit, Lorn! This one was just getting going and I could The North Pole is going up in flames. Santa’s wife has been kidnapped and Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer has been decapitated (and de-nosed). Now, Santa must enlist the help of his archenemy Krampus to help him track down the Naughties responsible for these horrendous attacks. It’s about to get real messy up in here when Santa takes out his revenge rage on the little murdering mofo’s that are holding Mrs. Claus captive. And then…It’s over. Dammit, Lorn! This one was just getting going and I could see the Naughty body parts and blood a flyin’. Guess, I’ll have to wait another year. Shit.

  28. 5 out of 5

    Stephanie

    Santa thought that his trouble with the Naughties was over, but as he returns to the North Pole, he sees that it has just begun. Now, Santa seeks revenge for the destruction of his home and must find out what the Naughties have done with his wife. Picking up right where The Naughty List left off, there is the same fierce Santa who is now even more pissed off. I love that he teamed up with Krampus to go after the Naughties. There is a super cliffhanger ending, I can't wait to pick up the next ins Santa thought that his trouble with the Naughties was over, but as he returns to the North Pole, he sees that it has just begun. Now, Santa seeks revenge for the destruction of his home and must find out what the Naughties have done with his wife. Picking up right where The Naughty List left off, there is the same fierce Santa who is now even more pissed off. I love that he teamed up with Krampus to go after the Naughties. There is a super cliffhanger ending, I can't wait to pick up the next installment. With plenty of gore and twisted myths, this is truly a Christmas horror.

  29. 4 out of 5

    Alexandra

    Free for Kindle through 12-25-15, thank you Edward!

  30. 5 out of 5

    Anthony Vacca

    My reviews for all three installments of the War on Christmas can be found here. My reviews for all three installments of the War on Christmas can be found here.

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